How to command respect, even as an introvert

Welcome to Communication Examples!

This is the place where I talk about all things related to communication skills and social interactions. Helping you create deeper connections and become the kind of person where people want to have more than one conversation with.

Estimated read time ~ 2 minutes

In today’s email:

• Showing conviction with your words

• Maintaining eye contact during conflict

• Deliberately using pauses

• Understanding vocal power

• Breaking the reputation of being shy

3 Examples

1) Make use of deliberate pauses

• Builds tension

• It creates a moment that pulls people in

• Great for storytelling as it generates anticipation

2) Maintain eye contact during times of conflict

• Shows lack of intimidation

• Signals resistance to persuasion/influence tactics

• Hold for 3 seconds and then look down (to defuse) or to the side (to neutralise). Not breaking contact will escalate the tension

3) Show conviction with your words

• Sign of confidence within yourself

• Demonstrates high level of self-awareness (you gotta be able to back it up though!)

• Don’t overdo it. It’s good to remind people you’re no pushover but there’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence.

• Context matters. Conviction in a work setting is more meaningful than small talk in a bar.

2 Short Tips  

1) Assertiveness starts with “I”

Using passive language sends a message to others that you are unsure of yourself and weakens the impact of the message that you are trying to deliver. It could also creates space for ambiguity, meaning people could misinterpret what you’re saying.

2) Make use of vocal power and tone

How you project your voice is as important as what you say. If your vocal power is too weak, you come across as someone who is weak and has low-self esteem. If it’s too strong, people may see you has aggressive.

Tip: Practice saying “hello” with different tones e.g. happy, sad, angry, confident. Over time you’ll pick up on the subtle differences and then start implementing those tones to the right conversations.

1 Question

How do you break the reputation of being a shy person?

The truth is that everyone puts others (and themselves) in certain boxes. It’s a mechanism for comfort because you tell yourself how you expect others to act generally.

But growth often means coming out of your own shadow and acting outside of the expectations that others have set for you. This can be uncomfortable at first but people will get used to it far quicker than you think they will.

Plus there is nothing more liberating than being yourself, and if that means speaking your mind more often than others are used to, then so be it. Those who truly value you won’t change their perception of you in the long run.

That’s all for today guys. Hit reply and let me know what you guys think of today’s issue - I’d love to connect.

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